this is a temporary site while sharonsviews.com heads to the plastic surgeon for a makeover.

AFTER EARTH, starring Will and Jaden

The picture says it all.

See, there’s this boy. His suit is made out of SmartFabric. It turns colors. There’s a volcano. Baboons. Giant birds. There was a starship, but it broke in half. The other half is 60 kilometers away. Dad’s leg is busted, so Kitai has to hoof it 60 km or they’ll both die.

Weirdly, even though there’s amazing technology in the broken up ship where the Dad-with-broken-leg is, no one thought to GPS (UPS, probably, as in universe) the SmartFabric or make it so the Black Box transponder actually transponds when the ship goes down, and I say, if it doesn’t do that, what was the point?

Anyway, the kid has to walk/fly/be carried by a giant eagle 60 miles to find the sensor that works in order to get help. Along the way he meets difficulties, the worst of which is the one they brought with them, because the people who brought us SmartFabric and color-changing spacesuits like to carry around killer monsters to practice their fear-suppression techniques around.

He defeats the beast, gets the sensor. Father and son are saved. The end. Don’t go.

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This entry was posted on June 14, 2013 by in Movie Reviews.
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